


Back on Track

by VioletShadow9



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Coping, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Drug Abuse, Drug Dealing, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Healing, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, My First Fanfic, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Running Away, Sexual Abuse, Trains, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, We'll see lmao, ahahaha this is me dealing with problems, is this even how you tag, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27096607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletShadow9/pseuds/VioletShadow9
Summary: Abyssal sighed, “Why are you even trying to get me to join you?”, Shiro cut in this time, “Because, all of us have suffered in some way” she glanced at Violet, not completely sure, but if the girl was here on this train alone like the rest of them, there had to be a reason. “What if you get to a point in life, and you want to stay? It’s…” She trailed off, “I’m not good with words, but what Akinari said was correct, it’s the people we’re with that make life fulfilling, it’s our friends that help us. So please, even if we haven’t known each other for too long, let us help.”“I… alright, fine, I’ll give you a chance.”By chance, 4 teenagers meet on a train, all with their own trauma, and all wanting to help others more than they want to help themselves.Can they heal from their problems, and get their lives back on track?This is me (finally) creating a story using my characters, and it's also me dealing with my life problems and trauma and all that.
Kudos: 1





	Back on Track

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will most likely be incredibly inconsistent, and I apologize ahead of time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Shiro Tsumi, and learning the reason as to why she is on the train.

**OK I TOTALLY FORGOT TO PUT THE TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE BEGINNING HERE I'M SORRY  
The trigger warnings for this chapter is rape/sexual assault. And because I personally am triggered by more specific things- sexual assault from a family member, while unconscious (however, there is no use of drugs). Also if people are triggered by people not believing sexual assault victims, beware. ******

********

It suddenly hit her.  
She had been gaslighted.  
She had been gaslighted. She didn’t believe herself anymore. She-  
Did _anyone_ believe her? She thought back to the looks people gave, as if they didn’t care, or didn’t believe her. The way that her _friends_ would say they would help her feel safer or help her get evidence-  
But then everyone dropped it.  
She went down the list.  
Michael? No. Oliva? No. Saika? She directly stated that she didn’t care. Brandon… he seemed to care, but they barely even knew each other.  
Luna…?  
She cared, she truly had, didn’t she? Yes, Shiro mentally chastised herself, she had been through something similar, she understood, she _cared_.  
But she didn’t have any time for Shiro anymore.  
A doll to be played with then thrown away... She didn’t like that comparison,  
“Nope, not going down that rabbit hole.” She sat up in bed, reaching to turn the lights on. As the room lit up  (Shiro squinting her eyes due to the brightness)  she realized she forgot to put her door stop up.  
It hit her again.  
They don’t care, they never did, and…  
And they wouldn’t care if it happened again.  
She couldn’t live like this, she couldn’t _continue_ like this. Playing nice, despite the hatred she had for **_him_** , staying at that house with a mother who didn’t care if she were to be…  
She knew the whole time, but tears burned her eyes again.  
“Mom didn’t believe me when I told her Buddy sexually assaulted me, she didn’t care, she loves him more than me.” It’s been like that, her step-father always had a say in everything, what they eat, what they do, and Shiro’s opinion never mattered.  
She heard footsteps. Panicking, leaping out of bed to put the door stop back up so no one could get in and turning off the lights, she took a couple steps back, staring at the door, hand over her mouth, breathing as quietly as she could.  
Her door knob turned, and the door moved as far as it could with the door stop there, about an inch or so, before **_he_** carefully closed the door so no sound was made.  
Breathing heavily, silent tears running down her cheeks, she waited until the footsteps had faded, and then some, just staring at the door. Her mind raced,  
God no, no no no…  
She couldn’t keep doing this, she wouldn’t suffer through that again… she had to get out of here.  
Launching forward for the lightswitch, she flicked it hard, and as soon as she touched it, she was racing for her closet. Throwing the items in her way behind her as quietly as she could, she frantically searched until she found her largest backpack.  
Ok, _ok_ … what would she need?  
Clothes obviously, a pair for hotter temperatures, a winter jacket, clothes for colder temperatures, and clothes for inbetween.  
She realized that it took up too much space.  
“Ummm okay then, let me get other essentials first.”  
Money, for starters, she dug through her room finding all the money she could. $83.62 total, that didn’t feel like it’d be enough. Wait, she had her $100 bill her grandmother had given her for her birthday.  
Shit, it was at her father’s house. Could she even go there? No, if she waited, then her resolve would have died. She paused. Was she really going to follow through with this? Time and time again, she had thought of this, but could she?  
She could go to her father’s house and stay with him until she moved out, right? No, they wanted her to go back directly after he assaulted her… No, she had to leave.  
Could she really leave everything behind like this?  
…  
She silently grabbed a couple pairs of underwear. 7 pairs she decided, and she’d make do with that much. Next, the pants, they took up more room than she’s like… 4 pairs as she always wore pants more than shorts, 2 pairs of shorts as an afterthought for summer weather, and a pair of leggings for if it was too hot for pants, but too cold for shorts. Shirts… simply short sleeved, she could wear a jacket as she always did when it got too cold. Perhaps a large flannel too for fashion, she set it to the side.  
Basic human needs… Food water, shelter, heat etc.  
“Hah, thank god for mini fridges.”  
Grabbing 2 water bottles in her mini fridge, Shiro looked around her mess of a room for her metal water bottle-- there it is, that way she can refill it if need be without crushing it.  
Food… she didn’t want to go to the kitchen.  
She realized she may need a blanket, but it would take up too much space. She threw a winter coat and an extra coat in her backpack, seeing it was almost full.  
What else… what else.  
Was she really going to do this?  
She had to, for her safety.  
Grabbing another 2 water bottles just in case, she threw them atop her clothes.  
What if they think I was kidnapped?  
Turning around, she looked in her smaller school back pack. Grabbing a note book she had yet to use, she wrote a note and ripped the paper out, putting it on her bed. As an afterthought, she stashed that notebook and pencil in her backpack. Then she grabbed the flashlight on her dresser right by her bed.  
Grabbing her white jacket, she put it on.  
Tying the large flannel, she looked back at the door.  
She had to leave her phone, she realized, they could track it and  
She didn’t want to be found.  
She wanted ~~selfishly~~ for her friends and family to be heartbroken that they made her run away, she…  
She wanted them to feel as hurt and betrayed as she felt.  
She turned the password to her phone off so they could see conversations.  
Opening her window, she carefully took off the bug screen. Turning back one last time as she put a foot in the window sill, she realized the door stop was still up… that wouldn’t look good. She turned around, grabbing the door stop and putting it neatly beside her door.  
This was it, wasn’t it? Would this really be worth it, would…  
She’d asked herself this many times before, and never followed through. And every time, she regretted not leaving.  
Something settled heavy in her gut, it felt as if this choice was foolish and something she should not do but…  
She walked backwards slowly, backpack on a shoulder, gripping the strap so hard her hand hurt.  
_But…_  
Her legs hit the wall.  
_But…_  
She turned around, pulling the hood of her jacket up.  
_But…_  
She put a foot on the window sill, pulling herself up, and holding onto the window in an awkward crouch.  
_But..._  
She stared into the darkness outside, questioning if it was truly the right thing to do.  
_**But she couldn’t take it anymore.**_  
She pushed herself out of the window, nearly tripping at the slight height difference when she hit the ground.  
She started walking.

_ “I’m running away. I can’t deal with this anymore. Mom, you didn’t believe me when I told you Buddy had sexually assaulted me in my sleep, you gaslighted me until even I thought I had somehow dreamt it. However, when I relive that memory, it’s too real, it couldn’t have been fake. Gram, when I was staying at your house, you kept focusing on mom more than the trauma I was going through. “He’s trying to separate her from the entire family”, “Think of how your mom feels”, “You need to go back”. I love you, but… those words brought more pain than I could ever describe. Dad, you constantly acted as if I was more of a burden to you than a blessing, and I don’t wish to deal with your disappointment any more. My friends, I adore you all, but it feels as if none of you cared of the pain I was going through. And if I was wrong about that, then I’m sorry. Akira, Taku, neither of you did anything wrong, and I hope this does not hurt you. I love you both and hope you both live happy lives. May we meet again some day. Buddy, I don’t even know what to say, you were my favorite person to ever exist, but… How could you, I hope you’re happy with yourself. I hope everyone lives happy lives, with or without me. I love you all, and perhaps we’ll meet again. -Your White Sin” _

“Wait, shit where am I going to go!?”  
She facepalmed..... She’d just keep walking until she found somewhere to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh for this chapter, some background knowledge is that the character's name is Shiro Tsumi, Japanese which translates into "White Sin".  
> Under this will be explained in later chapters -very minor things-, but if anyone wants to know ahead of time, be my guest.  
> This is me dealing with what my step father had done to me, he had sexually assualted me in my sleep- I (and Shiro) had learned this by pretending to sleep in fear of being told off for staying up late.  
> Shiro will also believe- like I do- that he had been doing that for atleast 2 years prior.  
> In truth, most of this are things I have thought before, or facts that hold true with my everyday.  
> My parents never married, and they have 50/50 custody over me.  
> My mother did not believe me, and had told me to my FACE that she didn't believe me.  
> My grandmother did tell me those quotes mentioned in Shiro's letter.  
> While my father doesn't treat me like a burden, he didn't want me staying at his house 24/7.  
> The line about the step-father trying to get in Shiro's room luckily has not happened to me, and I DO have a doorstop to avoid him coming in if he every tries.  
> Everyone calls my step-father "Buddy", I rarely hear his actual name.  
> My step-father previously was my favorite person in the family until I had learned what he had been doing.  
> I have thought of running away many times before, but I have more to stay for than Shiro, and life is getting better.  
> I have two older brothers, and for Shiro, they will be around the same age as my brothers are (mid 20s).  
> The talk about friends not being by her side does not completely hold true in the real world.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this!


End file.
